The Meaning of Beautiful
by Gypsy Tollamer
Summary: STATUS: COMPLETE! Quatre is a regular teenager with an eating disorder. Can he discover the true meaning of beautiful before it kills him? This story is inspired by part of my and other peoples personal pain.
1. Default Chapter

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
  
  
Quatre Winner sat on his bed in his bed flipping through some fashion magazines of his mom's. All the models were so pretty and thin. Quatre stood up adn looked in his full length mirror. all he saw was his round cherubic face and his love handles. His ex-boyfriend Zechs had told him. Thin was beautiful... Quatre wished he could be thin.. He stared again and imagined him self without his baby fat. He would sleek and graceful like a swan and everybody would think he was beautiful.  
  
"Quatre?" his mother asked. "come on out for dinner baby."  
  
Dinner. Who wanted Dinner? Dinner at the Winner house was always a pain. They ahd 4 courses and no one was aloud to leave the table until Father said it was okay. He was one of 6 children. He had 5 sisters. 4 older and 1 younger. His sister Iria was the oldest followed by Hilde, Kiki, and Julianna. He had a little sister Relena was 4. He got up and went down stairs. There was another person at the table. Iria's fiance Abdul.  
  
"Hey, Kitty Cat." he said as Quatre sat down across the table from him.  
  
"Hello Abdul." he said. The servents then came in with the salads. Iria and Hilde both reached for the French Dressing.  
  
"hands off. I had it first." Hilde said.  
  
"No way! I was born first so I grabbed the dressing before you becuase I ate salad before you!" Iria said.  
  
'Girls, please." Joanna Winner said. "Not in front of company."  
  
'Don't worry about it Mrs. Winner. My older brother; Rashid and I fight all the time. Except we just beat each other up and get it over with." he said laughing.  
  
"I almost feel Sorry for Quatre, never having older brothers." Kiki said.  
  
"Bwother!" Relena yelled.  
  
"Hush, honey." Mrs. Winner said putting a tiny peice of tomatoe in Relena's mouth.  
  
'It's alright. I get beat up enough by you 4!" Quatre said picking at his salad. "By the way, Mom can you pass the low fat dressing?"  
  
'Low Fat?" Julie asked. 'Yech!"  
  
I wish there was no fat. because I can't be fat. I wanna be beautful like those models. please, Allah let me be beautful! 


	2. The Demons

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
  
  
Authors Notes: This story has been inspired with the tales my friend told me of his battles with bulimia. It also has some of my personal trauma with my weight problems mixed in. And to the person who made all the rude comments about Fat People.. I hope you one day realize how wrong you are because you don't know how badly you hurt me.. So here you are. You're own spot in the fic.. As the most hated girl in Gundam Wing: Dorothy!  
  
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Later that night Quatre stepped out of the shower and looked in the mirror.  
  
'I hate the way I look." he thought. He pulled out the blow drier and began to dry his hair.  
  
"Why are you so fat anyway?" Quatre asked aloud. He then pulled out his toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it.  
  
'You're fat because you want to be." a sinister voice said. Quatre looked around. He could almost see that little devil on his left shoulder. She was a girl with long blonde hair and forked eyebrows. Her skin was so pale it almost looked grey.  
  
"huh?" he asked.  
  
'Don't listen to her." another voice said. She was a girl with short purple black hair and kind eyes. You could tell she was the angelic side of him.  
  
'Who are you?" he asked.  
  
"I'm Noin your guardian Angel." she said. "and that's Dorothy, High demon preistess. She's your dark conscience. What ever you do. Don't listen to her."  
  
"fat people are pathetic!" Dorothy hissed. "You're only fat because you're too alzy to get off your fat ass."  
  
'That's not true. You're beautiful Quatre." Noin said. Quatre looked from one girl to the next.  
  
"I want to believe you Noin but what she says makes more sense. Zechs did tell me to lose weight." he said. "I am Fat. I wanna look beautiful like those models in the magazines."  
  
"It's not hard to stay thin once you are." Dorothy said. "If you became thin. maybe you would be beautiful but now you're just fat."  
  
"you are not!" Noin said.  
  
"but out of this, Angel eyes." Dorothy said.  
  
"Yeah but out of this!" Quatre said to Noin and looking back at Dorothy "tell me more please!"  
  
"You need to exsersize." Dorothy said. "all it takes is a little activity and you'll be thin. And thin is beautiful Quatre. Fat people are ugly, lazy, cows and they deserve to suffer. You don't wanna sufer do you?"  
  
"What must I do?" he asked.  
  
"Well first you need to get rid of that dinner you ate." Dorothy "Then start from scratch."  
  
"No Quatre. Don't listen to her!" Noin pleaded.  
  
"How can I? I've already eaten it?" Quatre asked.  
  
"See the toilet? Make your self throw it up. Then brush your teeth and go down to the gym and run the calories you've absorbed off." Dorothy said.  
  
"Make myself throw up?" He asked. 'How?"  
  
"just stick your finger down your neck and gag yourself till it come up!" Dorothy said excited. 'hurry Quatre before you gain more weight!"  
  
"Please Quatre." Noin pleaded. "You musn't!"  
  
"I can't get fat!!!" Quatre screamed throwing all of his good thoughts out of his head and kneeling infront of the porcelin bowl. For the next few mintues there was the terrible sound of a person gagging.  
  
'You can't help him now." Dorothy said kicking the angel who was sittng on teh counter. Her heart in pain. "I've won this time. Better leave now before I have the kid flush you." Noin stared at her adversary before vanishing in a fit of tears.  
  
Quatre was brushing his teeth slowly.  
  
"That was gross." he said.  
  
"Well hurry that up and get down to the gym to run of the treadmill for a while." Dorothy said watching teh boy wash his mouth out and go to change.  
  
The sun had set in more ways then one and Dorothy the Demon was pleased. She'd condemned another.....  
  
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TAKE THAT EVIL REVIEWING GIRL!  
  
end of part 2 


	3. Pretty is not Beautiful

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
Authors Notes: I wanted to thank all the people who reviewed my fic. This fic is really personal for me. And ignorant reviewers #2 and 3... I mean : Dorothy... You've inspired me to write more!  
  
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Weeks passed and they soon turned to months. Christmas had come and gone Quatre had asked for an excerisize boke for his room and that's what he got. he would set his school books on the chest pad while he pedaled and burnt off the non-exsistent calories he had consumed.  
  
"Dorothy?." he asked pedalling. "I think I've gotten thinner. I mean I've lost almost 30 pounds."  
  
"How much do you weigh now?" She asked flipping her drasticlly blonde hair over one shoulder.  
  
'I weight 86." he said pedalling still.  
  
"too fat. You're too fat. Look you've still got a chubby face. that means your fat Quatre. And fat isn't beautiful." she said flinging open the door to his closet so Quatre could see all the taped up pictures of models and actresses that were so beautiful. "These people are beautiful. Thin people are beautiful." There was a knock on the door Dorothy closed teh closet door and hid. Quatre then got off teh bike and opened the door. It was Iria.  
  
'Hi Cutie." she said. 'Working out? Man, I wish I had your dedication." she came in and dat on teh bed handing him a water bottle. "here ya go."  
  
"Hello." He said picking up his english book.  
  
"What are you doing Senior paper?" she asked.  
  
'Yup." he said. "Canterbury Tales."  
  
"I hated Chaucer in school." she said flipping through teh magazine on his bed.  
  
'Yo Quatre, What's with all the adds being ripped out? And all teh models pictures cut out?" she asked.  
  
"They make me feel bad so I got rid of them." he lied.  
  
'Feel bad? About yourself?" Iria asked. "Oh honey why?"  
  
"They're beautiful." he whisperd "and I'm not." Suddenly his door opened and Relena toddled in. Iria picked her up.  
  
'I think you are." she said ruffling Relena's hair. "Rellly, Isn't Quarte pretty?"  
  
'Quatre's very pretty." Relena said. hugging her brother.  
  
"See you're pretty." she said. 'Now stop feeling bad about yourself. And take a shower!"  
  
"You stink like a skunky!" Relena said.  
  
"I do not." Quatre said..... he paused 'Do I?" he asked Iria. She knodded and ushered Relena out of the room. Quatre turned on teh shower adn drank from his bottle of water.  
  
"they think I'm pretty." he said aloud removing his sweaty gym clothes.  
  
He then stepped in the shower Rubbing the soap on his body. the impurities washed away down the drain.  
  
"Dorothy." He called. "they think I'm pretty."  
  
"pretty is a little above average. beautiful is 10 times more then pretty. adn you wanna be beautiful. you can be beautiful." Dorothy said. 'but you have to try harder!"  
  
Quatre then leaned against teh wall of the shower. He thought about being pretty. The men begging him to be their own. Then there would be that one boy. That one boy who sear him to the soul with warm, senuous touches, but that was enough about that... he had to wash his hair.........................................  
  
  
  
END of Part 3 


	4. Hell begins

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
  
  
Okay Readers. I had a long talk with Optimal and we've come to an agreement. OKay never mind we just both apologized for being over sensitive. So, I'm gonna not talk about anymore. And I hoep you all will put it behind you as I have. Optimal's actually kinda nice. And BlackIris3 I wish you would continue to review me. I personally didn't mind my review board turning into a chat room! I had fun reading teh reviews and I mean ALL of them. (kinda) So please BlackIris3 I wanna know your comments.. Maybe you'd like to help me with something.... You're obviously a very strong person emotionally. so email me! (all of you!!!) at q_bean12@hotmail.com!!!!!  
  
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Another week past and Quatre lost another 10 pounds. He soon had began to hate the color green. Because he'd spent so much time looking at it. He got off the bike and sighed. He hadn't finished his usually alotted milage but he just couldn't go on. He was just too tired. He removed his sneaker and opened his closet.  
  
'What are you doing?" Dorothy asked.  
  
"Going to sleep." he said grabbing his robe. 'i'm really tired."  
  
"But you're not done yet." she said.  
  
'I'm tired!" he said.  
  
"If you're gonna quit.. You're gonna get fat and become ugly once again. You were actually getting close to beautiful. You're definately pretty." she said.  
  
'You think so?" Quatre said.  
  
"Yes." she said. "So get pedalling."  
  
Quatre knodded and hopped back on his bike and began to pedal as hard as he could.  
  
"You'll have to do 2 extra miles for teh time you stopped." Dorothy said.  
  
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It was 7 in the morning when Iria went into her little brothers room. There he was passed out in his bed underneath a thin blanket surrounded by school books he looked absolutely exhausted. She shook his shoulder. He mumbled and opened one eye.  
  
'Go away." he mumbled.  
  
'Wake up sleephead." she said "time for school." She then pulled back the blanket and let out a scream. "Mom!!!! Dad!!!! Get in here!"  
  
Quatre sat up. "What?" he mumbled.  
  
Iria's hadns shook and she pointed to Quatre. "What have you been doing? When 's the last time you ate? Oh Quatre!!!" she then hugged him tightly. Quatre grimaced at the little bit of pain he felt. She was crying too.  
  
"Iria you're hurting me.." he said she then let go.  
  
'No wonder.. I am in medical school remember? Your body has no padding!" she said. His parents came in. His mother was putting in her earings.  
  
"Iria what is it?" his dad asked.  
  
"Look at Quatre..." she said grabbing him and making him stand up. "Look how thin he is!!" She then dobbed lifting up Quatre's shirt. He looked like one of those starved children from Africa....  
  
His Mother let out a little sob.  
  
'Quatre Winner." Mr. Winner said. "When was the last time you ate young man?"  
  
"You saw me eat last night." he said.  
  
"The last time you ate and didn't throw it up!!!" Iria snapped going into the bathroom. "Get on it!!!"  
  
He gingerly stepped on it......  
  
His parents held onto eachother for support and Iria just cried again...  
  
Quatre weighed 65 pounds......................  
  
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Quatre hugged his huge coat tighter around him. The people in here looked so pathetic and so ugly... They were eating huge plates of food and talking with nurses. Some looked so sad and depressed. Quatre's parents and him entered a lobby area.  
  
"I need to check my son in here. he's sick." His Dad said.  
  
Quatre backed up against the wall....  
  
No.... His parents were not going to leave him here!!!!  
  
end of part 4 


	5. The new room mate

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
  
  
"Daddy." Quatre pleaded 'please don't leave me here by myself. I don't wanna be here. I promise I'll eat and I won't throw it up. You can even ground me I don't care just Don't leave me here!"  
  
"Quatre." his mother said ruffling his hair. "You're sick. and We can't help you anymore."  
  
"Mom." Quatre said.  
  
"No." Quatre's Father said. 'You're sick and you're staying."  
  
Suddenly a very pretty nurse with 2 blonde twisted braids came up.  
  
"Mr and Mrs. Winner?" she asked. 'I'm Sally. I'm a nurse here and I'm head nurse for your son's room. I'll be making sure he eats and gains weight. I'll also make sure he gets to his group meetings and his therapy appointments."  
  
"Hello Sally." Mr Winner said. "This is my son Quatre."  
  
"Well follow me Quatre. You'll want to get slightly settled before group." she said taking Quatre's suitcase from his father. She began to walk down the hall and Quatre's parents walked down the hall with Quatre between them. In order to stop him from running if he got any ideas. Sally turned around.  
  
"Quatre kiss your parents good bye now." she said.  
  
'Aren't we going to see where he's staying?" Mrs Winner asked.  
  
" You can't help him from here on out. You can visit him and look around on visiting days but you can't follow him today." she said.  
  
Quatre was shocked.. Not only was he gonna have to stay in this awful place but he had to go alone? This was a total nightmare. Quatre didn't move.  
  
"Bye. Honey." his mother said handing him his other suitcase. "We'll see you on Saturday."  
  
"Don't leave me here please!" Quatre said as his parents each kissed his forhead. "I don't wanna stay."  
  
"You're going to." Mr. Winner said pushing Quatre towards Sally and ushering his wife out the door. Quatre didn't budge.  
  
"Quatre... Come on." Sally said. Quatre just stared at her.  
  
She then walked up to him and grabbed his arm.  
  
"I'll pull you down the hall myself, or you can do it willingly. You're roommate will respect you more if you walk in yourself." she said.  
  
"Room mate?" Quatre asked. 'I don't want one."  
  
"Well you're going to have one. Everyone does." she said. Quatre sighed and resigned to his fate walking after her. She stopped infront of room 203..  
  
'this is going to be your room." she said. Quatre could see his name on a orange leaf taped on the door. The other leaf said DUO...  
  
'You're room mate made the leaf for you. He wanted to make you feel welcome." she said. Sally then walked in. Quatre didn't budge though...  
  
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"Is he here Sally?" Duo asked hopping off the bed. 'Is he here yet?"  
  
"yes dear he's out side the door." she said. "don't scare him though."  
  
Duo waited in anticipated...... What was his new room mate like?  
  
  
  
end 


	6. Life in a Clinic

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
  
  
Part 6!!  
  
Gypsy: Wow!!! This fic has really grown! and it's all thanx to your support and reviews. This chapter has a special meaning to me. I have a wonderful reviewer by the name of BlackIris3!!! (holds up the "auplause" sign) She's said such nice things to me and has helped me in so many ways. She's a very beautiful person and I've grown to love her as one of my dear friends. So I made her a character! (holds up the sign again) So, on to the fic!  
  
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"Come on in Quatre." Sally said. Duo leaned forward in anticipation. Suddenly a small, frail blonde entered the room. Duo was shocked how beautiful and thin he was.  
  
"Heero will come in here. See the blonde and leave you!" his inner demon said.  
  
"Leave me alone, Solo." Duo thought flicking Solo off his shoulder and grinning. "Hi Quatre! I'm Duo!" he said walking right up to him and taking the suitcase from him. "We're gonna have so much fun and be life long friends!"  
  
Sally just smiled and sat Quatre's suitcase on the bed.  
  
"Now, Quatre I have to check your belongings. Certain things are not aloud here at the clinic. No vases, cans, bottles, boxes, or plastic bags aloud. Also your raading material will be scanned before you are aloud to have it.. No fashion magazines or other magazines with models are aloud. Excersize weights and other equipment are aloud either. No medication will you be aloud to take your self. We have probelems with patients abusing laxatives here." she said. "Also All clothing is to be regulation. If you are caught breaking one of these rules you will be punished. No television watching without supervision and the bathrooms are constantly monitered so don't try to throw up your meals. Duo is to tell us if you do." She opened Quatre's suitcase and pulled a trashbag out of her pocket. she picked up an armful of vogue and bazzar and tossed them. Quatre's weights also went in the bag. His cup he used to put his toothbrush in was confiscated along with a few of his books which were "questionable material". She let him keep his hair dryer but it's box was trashed. She then went through his clothes and pulled out some clothes she thought would not be needed. For example his excersize shorts and wrist bands. also any skimpy clothing that might make the other patients feel bad about themselves.  
  
Quatre was shocked finally after about half his sutff was removed she leftsaying to duo. "Make sure he gets to group."  
  
Duo smiled at him. 'I'll help you un pack." he said picking up Quatre's family photo album. He then set it on Quatre's side table.  
  
"Why are you in here?" Quatre asked.  
  
"I'm sick. just like you." duo said folding a pair of Quatre's jeans and putting them in a drawer.  
  
"I'm not sick." Quatre said.  
  
"That's called denile." he said.  
  
"Oh shut up." Quatre snapped. Duo then sat down the sweatshirt he was holding and walked over to sit on his bed. Quatre finished unpacking silently. Duo was looking out the window.  
  
"I can see why you're so angry.. I was too when I first got here but you'll learn to like it here! It's almost like home... Only without being able to have any privacy." he said. 'Oh well. Come on. it's time for group."  
  
"Group?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Group therapy, come on it's fun. We get to talk to eachother also it's snack time. Today's Choclate Chip Muffins!" he said.  
  
"I don't want to go." Quatre said.  
  
"Well either you go peacefully or they drag you in. I prefer to act like an adult and walk in myself." Duo said. He looked at Quatre. "Do I need to call Sally?"  
  
"no." Quatre said getting up and walking with Duo down the hall..  
  
"Duo!! Wait up!" a female voice said. It was a pretty girl with cropped dark brown hair. Her highlights shown in the florescent lights and her bangs hung in her hazel eyes.  
  
"I'm Iris." she said to Quatre. Quatre just stared at her. "This is Cathy my room mate."  
  
Catherine looked very sick. You could tell she was pretty though. She had curly red hair and violet eyes but her skin was so pale, and she was so thin she looked dead almost.  
  
"This is Quatre." Duo said. "He's my new room mate!"  
  
"I'm so glad Odin got to go home." Iris said. She had her arm linked with Catherine just in case she wanted to bolt.  
  
"Odin was my old room mate." Duo said to Quatre. "He had been here a while. but he gained enough weight to go home."  
  
They walked into a big room with chairs in a circle.  
  
'It's Muffin day!" Duo said to Iris wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Aren't you glad about that?"  
  
"Sure, I like muffins." she said. She smiled at Catherine who just continued to stare at the floor.  
  
"Duo sit by me!" she said taking a seat. Duo did and Quatre looked around the circle. Suddenly a very pretty nurse with brown hair and brown eyes. Her eyes were behind a pair of glasses and her hair was done like Princess Laya from Star Wars.  
  
"I'm Nurse Une." she said. "I noticed we have a new recruit so let's do the usual starting. Duo will you begin.."  
  
Duo knodded and stood up. "My name's Duo Maxwell. I suffer from Anorexia. I weight 74 pounds. I like the color black and writing poetry."  
  
Iris was the next to stand up. "My names Iris Black and I suffer from Bulimia and Anorexia. I weigh 80 pounds. I like reading and coloring."  
  
Quatre looked around the circle went around.......  
  
Catherine.... 60 pounds  
  
Alex......... 79 pounds  
  
Meuller......... 85 pounds  
  
Iris........ 75 pounds  
  
Amy......... 92 pounds  
  
Hilde......... 90 pounds  
  
Thomas........95 pounds  
  
Meiren....... 78 pounds  
  
Wufei........ 79 pounds  
  
Ashley........86 pounds  
  
It was Quatre's turn. He didn't move. "I'm Quatre. I weigh 65 pounds and I'm not sick!" he said. The nurse looked at him with pity in her eyes.  
  
"I think you are." she said.  
  
Quatre looked around... Everybody.... Even Iris, Duo and Catherine were giving him that same look......  
  
  
  
end of part 6  
  
Gypsy: And yes. All that stuff about Clinics is true... Please Review! 


	7. Maybe it's not so bad

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
  
  
Gypsy: Okay people. People have been bugging me for this so here it is the next part. People have also been asking for longer chapters but if they get any longer then you're going to have to wait longer. Also my muse is a very picky person and refuses to put out too much... Sorry but if I'm not polite to it. It may go on strike and I'll never ever finish a fic! (it's not like I do it anyway)  
  
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Quatre walked back to his room hours later. Group had been over two hours ago but when snack time came adn he refused to eat the fat filled muffin he had been handed he was put into a room by himself with the clinic shrink, Dr. Kusherenada. Then for the whole 2 hours he was force fed statistics and the stupid muffin. He had even gotten sick once but he was just force fed another muffin. He whiped the tears off his face but he knew Duo would have known what was going on. He leaned against teh wall outside the dorm and sat down in a squatting position. He ran over his conversation with Dr. Kushrenada one more time in his head.  
  
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"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm perfectly healthy." Quatre had said once he had been locked in that tiny room with the man. "You people here are just paranoid."  
  
"You're parents wouldn't have put you here if something hadn't been wrong." Dr. Kushrenada said pulling out his glasses and reading some papers.  
  
"It also says here that you don't even weigh 70 pounds!"  
  
"So I watch my weight a bit. People do it all the time." he said.  
  
"A young man your age with your height should weigh about 50 pounds more then you do." he said. "You're sister was right for freaking out."  
  
Quatre looked up to see Dorothy standing over Treize making faces at him.  
  
"Look at this dork!" she said. "He doesn't know what he's talking about! You're almost there Quatre don't let him make you ugly again!"  
  
"Well, you can talk for as much as you want. I'm not listening and I'm not eating that muffin. You can't force me to!" he said to Dr. Kushrenada.  
  
"Look Quatre. I can force you. Your parents signed a form when they admitted you saying that we could make you gain weight anyway we saw fit. If that means I have to pin you down while Nurse Sally shoves that muffin in your mouth then we'll do it. Understand?" he said. "No why not save us some time. and do it yourself." Treize pushed the muffin closer to Quatre.  
  
"I can't believe my parents did that." he mumbled.  
  
"I can't believe you're starving yourself but that doesn't mean you aren't..." Treize said. "Now, why would you do something like that?"  
  
"Because, thin people are beautiful and I'm not." he said.  
  
"Who said that?" treize asked.  
  
"My ex-boyfriend told me I was fat all the time." Quatre said.  
  
"I see, now before this boyfriend told you that.... Did you think you were beautiful?" Dr. Kusherenada asked leaning forward... Quatre couldn't answer.....  
  
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Quatre sighed and got up off the cold tile floor. He then walked into the room. He saw Duo writing something on a pad then pressing the pad against the window.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked sitting on the bed.  
  
"Oh hi, Quat!" he said. "I'm talking to Iris. Social hour isn't for another hour and I was getting bored."  
  
Quatre looked through the window and saw Iris sitting by the window writing something and then pushing her pad against the glass.  
  
It read... "Hi Quatre!!!! Feeling Better?"  
  
Quatre just smiled and knodded... Duo then picked up his pad and wrote something.  
  
"What did you just write?" Quatre asked.  
  
"It's private." Duo said...  
  
"No, not really. It's my window you're using too!" Quatre said sitting next to duo. He could see Iris laughing her head off....  
  
"Okay we were talking about my boyfriend." Duo said. "He's a real pain in the ass sometimes."  
  
"You have a boyfriend?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Yo, you better not be some homo-hater." Duo said. "He visits me all the time and we make out. So you're going to get used to it."  
  
"Oh no.. I was just surprised you still had one while you were in here. I mean.. Sorry." Quatre said. "I didn't mean to offend you."  
  
"Heero loves me.. He wouldn't ever dump me because I was sick. In fact he was the one who told me to enter the clinic." he said. "Iris and him are real good friends now. That's why we make fun of him."  
  
"Well, I'm happy for you." Quatre said turning to go sit on his bed.  
  
"Hey Quat?" Duo asked.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked.  
  
"You got a boyfriend? or a girlfriend?" he asked.  
  
"I used to have a boyfriend. but he dumped me.... because I was too fat he said." Quatre said sniffing a bit.  
  
"and let me guess. That's when you started starving yourself." Duo said.  
  
"Well that's why it got me thinking that I wasn't beautiful." he said pulling out a tissue and blowing his nose.  
  
Duo wrote down on his pad. "Talk to later Iris. I gotta help Quat through a crisis." He held it up. She gave him a concerning knod and then pulled the blinds down on the window.  
  
Duo then walked over to Quatre's bed and sat on it with him.  
  
"Men like that are jerks." he said. "No other person in the world. No matter how good a kisser or what they know has the right to tell some one they're not good enough for themselves." He hadned Quatre another tissue.  
  
"thanks Duo." he said. "I feel better now."  
  
"I hope you know that Iris is gonna try to but in on this." Duo said.  
  
"Well I don't mind if she does...." Quatre said whiping his eyes.  
  
Duo sent his new friend an appreciative smile and pulled out a giant twix bar out of his side dresser.  
  
"It's nothing a twix and some talking about sex won't fix." Duo said opening the package and handing Quatre a peice. Quatre took a small bite out of it and smiled.  
  
"You know I forgot how good this stuff tasted going down." Quatre said.  
  
"enough of this depressing stuff... Did you know girls can have orgasms jsut by someone touching their breasts?" Duo said.  
  
"Who told you that?" Quatre asked.  
  
"That would be Iris. She loves Cosmo Magazine so much. She let's Nurse sally cut all the models out so she can still read about sex." Duo said..  
  
Quatre sighed and laughed a bit.. Maybe this clinic wouldn't be so bad afterall.........  
  
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end of part 7!!!!  
  
Gypsy: woo hoo!! I wrote a really long part! Go Gypsy!!! Just to let you know this is no where near teh end of the story!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW! 


	8. The Skip of a Beat

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
Gypsy: Alright! I finally got my muse working and I'm about to write another part! it maybe a little short but you know! you'll take what you can! Right? For those people that asked who Quatre's ex-boyfriend was.. it said in the first chapter that it was Zechs.. So, I'm done talking!  
  
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"Oh my God!" Duo yelled sitting up. "Quatre?" He rolled over and saw that the blonde's bed was empty. He heard the water running in the bathroom. "Hey Quat! You in there?"  
  
"yeah!" he heard the blonde yell. he came out, in a pair of pajamas with his tooth brush in his mouth. "need something?"  
  
"yeah. Visiting day is today... Can I borrow something of yours?" he asked. " I mean Heero's seen everything I have with me."  
  
'Sure Duo." Quatre said. "Can I go spit now?"  
  
"Sure." he said getting up to look through Quatre's closet.  
  
Quarte went into the bathroom and spit into the sink. He then put some water into his hands and swirled it around in his mouth. it sure would have been easier had the nurses not confiscated his spit cup.  
  
'Oh well." he said to himself. he then saw Dorothy standing over his right shoulder.  
  
"hi Quatre. You're looking fat today." she said. 'How much did you eat anyway?"  
  
"Go away." Quatre said softly.  
  
"We were so close!" Dorothy said. "Today's visiting day.. Don't you want to look beautiful? What if Zechs comes and visits you?"  
  
Quatre hadn't thought about that... What if Zechs did come visit him? What was he going to do? What if? What if he saw him like this? What if he was embarrassed that he ahd even dated him? He sat down in the corner of the bathroom. The cold tile walls pressing into his back. It was so small.... The air was so thin and it was hot....  
  
There was a knock on the door.  
  
"Quatre?" Duo asked. "Can i come in/ Are you okay? You better not be throwing up!" He opened the door and saw his room mate culred up into a ball in the corner of the bathroom. Tears running down his face...  
  
"Quatre..." he said.... "Are you okay? What happened?"  
  
"I can't breathe." Quatre said. "It's too hot in here."  
  
"Come on.." Duo said pulling Quatre too his feet and leading him into the bedroom. He sat him on teh bed infront of the fan.... 'better?"  
  
Quatre sat there breathing just staring at the wall....  
  
'Duo?" he asked quietly..  
  
"yeah buddy?" he asked.  
  
'What happened?" he asked.  
  
"I think you had a panic attack or something... Are you claustrophobic or something?"  
  
"I don't think so... It just got really hot all of a sudden." he said... "i think I'm better now."  
  
"yeah because you would hate to spend Visiting day in the tank." he said..  
  
"What tank?" Quatre asked.  
  
"The solitary confinement room. Affectionately called the tank by us.." Duo said.  
  
"oh." Quatre said. 'Shouldn't you eb getting ready for Heero?"  
  
"You gonna be okay?" Duo asked.  
  
'Fine as Rain." Quatre said standing up...  
  
"great! because I can't wait for you to meet Heero!" he said jumping and runing into teh bathroom to change.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Duo, Iris, Catherine and Quatre all sat in the lounge together waiting for their visitors... Duo sighed.  
  
'How long does it take him to drive here?" Duo asked for the millioth time.  
  
"Not long. Seeing as He and Trowa are coming up the front walkway!" Iris said from her window seat. She waved and made a face at teh two boys..  
  
Suddenly two gorgeous guys enetered the doors..  
  
"Hee-koi!" Duo yelled throwing himself into teh arms of the boy with the most gorgeous blue eyes Quatre had ever seen.  
  
The tall one with heavenly green eyes walked over to Catherine and kissed her on the cheek before taking the seat beside Quatre.  
  
"Quatre, this is Trowa.. My baby Brother." Catherine said..  
  
Trowa looked into Quatre's azure eyes and Quatre looked into those deep green havens....  
  
"hello Quatre." he said..  
  
And Quatre felt his heart skip a beat.  
  
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end of part 8 


	9. visiting day begins

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
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Gypsy: Okay People! Here's the part. This fic may take a while to finish but I'm gonna get it done. Now on the sizing of the chapters. You're going to have to be patient. If you want longer installments then you'll have to wait longer. I think you'd rather have a little then none at all...  
  
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"Quatre!" Duo said pulling the dark haired teen over towards him. "This is my Hee-chan."  
  
"My name's Heero." he said shaking Quatre's hand.  
  
"Nice to meet you." Quatre said.  
  
"Iris!" Nurse Sally called. "We just got a call from your parents."  
  
Iris got up out of her seat.  
  
"Who wants to bet they're not coming again.." she said walking over to the desk.  
  
'Why wouldn't her parents come?" Quatre asked.  
  
"They're too busy involved in their own lives to worry about her. The shrink thinks it's why she became Anorexic in the first place." Duo said.  
  
Iris came storming back over.  
  
"Are they coming?" Catherine asked.  
  
"No, but they're sending me over my birthday presents by messenger." she said.  
  
"I'm sorry Iris." Catherine said.  
  
"I don't need you pity Cathy!" Iris snapped leaning back in her chair and slouching down.  
  
Quatre got up and walked over towards her. He then sat in the chair next to her.  
  
"When was your birthday?" he asked.  
  
"It's tomorrow." she said. "You know! I would have thought the one day that they'd come to visit me was my birthday. Should have known better. The didn't show up for any other holiday."  
  
"Well Christmas is next month. I'm sure they'll come see you a lot then." he said.  
  
"yeah right!" she said. "And give up their time share in Jamaica? No way! I know them. They'll go have fun and forget about me."  
  
"Oh Iris.." Quatre said hugging her. "It'll be okay."  
  
"You know..." Iris said her voice cracking. "I wish they'd atleast notice me!" Tears began to form in her hazel eyes and Quatre just held her tighter as she began to cry.  
  
"Is Iris crying?" Heero whispered to Duo.  
  
"Oh my god..." Duo said. "I never thought I'd see the day when she'd cry."  
  
Suddenly the door flung open to the center and then entered a tall man in a butler's uniform..  
  
"Miss Iris?" he asked..  
  
"James?" Iris asked looking up. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well I figured that you'd rather see an old man like me instead of the hot messenger boy." James said. "I'm going to turn your presents into the nurses station and then I'll come talk with you."  
  
"Who's he?" Quatre asked.  
  
"The Butler. He's practically the only father I had. Dad was always working late and was rarely home. Mom was too busy getting ready for a gala or getting drunk off her ass to notice me. He and my nanny were like parents to me." she said.  
  
"Well see... If you have such bad memories about your parents." Quatre said. "Then why would you want to see them here?"  
  
"I guess I'd rather see James I guess." she said. Quatre got up and walked back over to where Trowa, Catherine, Duo and Heero were sitting.  
  
"Who's the old guy?" Duo asked.  
  
"Iris's butler." Quatre said sitting down.  
  
" Is she okay?" Trowa asked.  
  
'She's fine now." Quatre said. 'No worries."  
  
The door opened again and Quatre saw his family..  
  
"Oh no." he thought. "Please don't embarrass me infront of the greek god of Trowa."  
  
"Bwother!!!" Relena yelled running in and attaching herself to Quatre's leg..  
  
"Hey Relly." he said picking her up. "You're heavy.."  
  
"She probably weighs almost as much as you." Iria said from the door. Quatre got up and walked over to his parents..  
  
"Hi Mom. Hi Dad." he said. "Where's the rest of the girls?"  
  
"They didn't want to come." his mother said.  
  
"Oh." he said looking downward.  
  
"Let's see you room honey." his mother said. "Show us where it is."  
  
"Yes ma'm." Quatre said handing Relena to Iria.  
  
The walked down the hallway..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Let's follow them, Come on!!" Duo yelled pulling Heero to his feet. "I wanna see what happens!" 


	10. the shocking news

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
Gypsy: I'm sorry this is taking so long! I keep on trying to write more but It's a really hectic time! I just got cast as Lady Capulet in Romeo and Juliet so I have 3 hour rehearsals to go to like 4 times a week. I also am searching for a cow print prom dress so if you know of where I can find one Let me know!!!!  
  
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"Come on Hee-chan! I wanna see what happens!" Duo yelled pulling his boyfriend down the hallway. Where they collided with 2 other patients.  
  
"Watch it Maxwell..." a nasal ridden voice said.  
  
"Oh hi Wufei..." Duo said... "Hi Meiren."  
  
"Bite my ass Duo." the chinese girl said. "Don't try that perky shit with me."  
  
"Sorry. We didn't see you." Heero said standing up and helping Meiren to her feet.  
  
"Yeah must be hard to see with all the stars in your eyes." she muttered.  
  
"Excuse me?" Duo asked getting annoyed with Meiren's bad attitude.  
  
"If I could. I'd break your nose Maxwell." she said.  
  
"What's stopping you?" Wufei asked. "Surely you're not so weak that you can't even hit him."  
  
"I don't like the tank." she said. "That's what's stopping me."  
  
"Look, we're sorry you two." Heero said.  
  
"We're probably missing all the good stuff." Duo said sitting against the wall in a huff. "So if yout wo are gonna try to beat the shit out of us then you better go ahead so we won't miss anymore!"  
  
'Miss any of what?" Meiren asked.  
  
"Quatre's parents came for a visit and Duo wants to spy on them." Heero said.  
  
"I thought you were a more honorable man then that Yuy." Wufei said.  
  
"yeah well I thought a guy like you wouldn't starve himself." Heero snapped.  
  
Duo saw a flicker in Wufei's eyes.  
  
Heero had hit a sore spot.  
  
"Point taken." Wufei said sadly.  
  
"So what are waiting for?" Meiren asked. 'I wanna see the shit hit the fan too!"  
  
"Shit hit the fan?" Heero asked.  
  
"It's very possible." she said. "Come on you remember the bad mood Quatre was in when we all first met him?"  
  
"It was only 3 days ago." Wufei pointed out.  
  
"Shut up Wu-boy." she said running down the hall towards Duo and Quatre's room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"This is it?" Quatre's mother asked reaching into her purse.  
  
"Yeah mom." Quatre said.  
  
"Well atleast there's no way you could throw up without some one knowing." she said. Quatre looked at the floor.  
  
"Don't look at teh floor so much." his father said. "It's as if you're ashamed of what you did."  
  
"I am." Quatre said softly.  
  
"You wouldn't think so seeing as how you acted earlier." he said.  
  
"Clinics like this specialize in shoving a mirror infront of your face and showing you what's really there." Iria said. "In my opinion it's the best treatment."  
  
"So honey. Why did you start this?" his mother asked.  
  
"I wanted to be beautiful and I thought that only thin people were beautiful." he said.  
  
"Who put that idea in your head?" Iria asked.  
  
Quatre looked at his parents and his sisters.  
  
"Zechs." he said.  
  
His parents exchanged worried looks.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Who's Zechs?" Meiren asked.  
  
"I think it's his ex-boyfriend." Duo said.  
  
"I can't believe guys like that." Heero said.  
  
"I can't believe some one named their child Zechs." Wufei said... "Doesn't it mean 10 in German?"  
  
"How should we know? Our parents are language specialist like somebody's" Duo said.  
  
"My parents study languages not me." Wufei said defensivly.  
  
"Yeah just because your Dad fixes cars doesn't mean you know shit about em." Meiren said.  
  
"Actually he does." Heero said. "You should have seen him put together a dis-assembled carborator when we had shop together."  
  
'Quiet they're talking again!" Meiren said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What's wrong?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Zechs came by that day after we put you in the clinic." his father said. "When we told him what was wrong. He turned white as a sheet and left very fast."  
  
"So you think he's sorry?" Quatre asked.  
  
"He doesn't think anymore." Iria said.  
  
"What do you mean?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Honey you better sit down." his mother said. Quatre sat on the bed.  
  
'What happened?" he asked.  
  
"His father found a letter from Zechs on his desk that night. It was to you and when he opened it. He discovered it was a suicide note." Mr. Winner said.  
  
"You don't mean!" Quatre said.  
  
"Zechs ran his car off the South River Bridge." he said. 'He was killed instantly."  
  
Quatre couldn't believe it.. There was no way.  
  
Zechs couldn't be dead. He just couldn't be....  
  
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END OF PART 10 


	11. The letter

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
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Gypsy: Here's part 11 as promised! I've had an okay week but yesterday was a very bad day. For all my fans in New York I may be moving up there to attend The American Musical and Dramatic Academy.. WOO HOO! If not, I'll just be at CSU in good old Georgia... Now, this chapter may be a little sad... WAIT THE WHOLE GOSH DARN FIC'S DEPRESSING!  
  
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An hour had passed since they had been told to be in their rooms. Visiting hour had been long over but it was fresh in Quatre's mind. His parents had been a little supportive. They had been asked to give Quatre Zech's suicide letter seeing as it was addressed to him. It still lay unopened in Quatre's hand. He just sat in the window seat looking out the window where the clouds were pouring rainwater tears onto the earth which needed them.  
  
"Does that mean that the world needs tears and sadness to survive?" Quatre thought as he watched. "Is it meant to be like this? Am I supposed to be here? Is Zechs supposed to be dead? Am I to be alone for all eternity?"  
  
"Man you're depressing me." Duo said from the chair on the other side of the room. "Smile a bit Quat."  
  
"No thankyou Duo." he said turning back to the window. He saw Iris looking at him through her window. She pulled out her dry erase board and wrote something.  
  
QUAT, I'M SORRY.  
  
Quatre picked up Duo's board and wrote back.  
  
IRIS, I FEEL USELESS IN HERE.  
  
Iris looked worried and smiled while she wrote her response  
  
I KNOW. I FEEL THAT WAY SOMETIMES. BUT YOU ARE OF SOME USE HERE! YOU KEEP ME FROM GOING OFF THE DEEP END.  
  
Quatre just stared at her and felt a tear go down his cheek.  
  
IF ONLY I HAD BEEN THERE FOR ZECHS. THEN MAYBE HE WOULDN'T HAD GONE OFF THE DEEP END!  
  
Iris looked shocked.  
  
DID HE BLAME HIS SUICIDE ON YOU? IS THAT WAS WAS IN HIS LETTER?  
  
Quatre looked down at the letter that slightly creased and wrinkled.  
  
I HAVEN'T READ IT YET....  
  
Iris stared at him.  
  
THEN READ THE THING DUMB ASS AND STOP TALKING TO ME!  
  
Then Iris left her window and Quatre saw the blinds go down. He then sighed and ripped open the envelope. In side he could already see Zech's personalized stationary.  
  
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Dear Quatre,  
  
I heard about you today. I'm so sorry! You're probably the best thing that ever walked into my view and I hurt you. I let you go and I was selfish. I'm sorry. Now, I'll never get you back. I'm not sure why I told you that you were fat and not as pretty as you could be.I'm sorry I told you only thin people were pretty. I thought you were the most heavenly thing God had ever created. It was as if this little demon was on my shoulder whispering in my ear telling me to say those awful things to you. I really didn't mean it. I wish I could take it back. I wish we were still together. I wish a lot ot things. But they won't ever come true. If you're reading this then your parents already told you. I wanted to come see you earlier but the guard said it wasn't visiting day. I'd bought you a bouquet of tiger lillies. Your favorites. Expensive little suckers. They're now in my room and in a few hours they'll be in my car. You know what I did right? I'm planning on taking my car tonight at about 2 in the morning and driving it around a bit. Getting the speed up and such and then I'll speed down the road toward the South River Bridge. The one we walked on and confessed our love for eachother. Then in the spot where I first kissed you I'll drive off the bridge. Sailing my car into the stars before plunging it into the river. You think that's dramatic enough? Think my Dad will even notice I'm gone? But more importantly: Do you think they'll let you come to my funeral? I want you there. I want you to have all my things. I loved you Quatre Winner. I let you slip through my fingers and I'm sorry if I hurt you. Please forgive me for those things I said to you. And please forgive me for killing myself. I see No other way! I would come see you one last time but the next visiting day is Saturday and I can't make it that far! I'm sure the person who found this note already read it so I'll stop now. I can't think of anything else to say to you except that I love you, and that I'm so very sorry. Please forgive me Quatre. My little bunny-faced Quatre. Remember one last thing please.....  
  
I'll always love you and I'll always be watching over you because I need to be with you. Like a fish needs water I need my Quatre.  
  
-Zechs  
  
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Quatre brought his head up and looked out the window.  
  
"I forgive you Zechs." he thought and then he just burst into tears.  
  
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END OF PART 11 


	12. Alone

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
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Gypsy: Thanks to every one who reviewed! I'm really working on this thing but it takes a long time and we're no where near the end if I have my way. I'll try to put out as many parts as I can as quickly as I can. All while doing my drama rehearsals, working on the magic show for our fundraiser, working for the school paper, doing my clubs all while trying to keep that 3.0 GPA! I'm tired already.. sure you guys don't want to write the next chapter your self?  
  
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Quatre whiped his eyes and folded the letter back up. He's been crying a while at first Duo had been supportive but then he just went to the bathroom to take a shower. Or that's what he said.  
  
Quatre stood up and walked over to his drawer. That was where he hid his most private things. Underneath some old letters and pictures. He hid Zech's letter.  
  
Zechs had been forgiven. It was just too bad he couldn't have let Quatre forgive him when he was alive..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Duo sat on his bed with his paddle ball... He bounced the ball on the paddle once, twice, three times and then the string got looped around his hand.  
  
Duo tried again.  
  
"Once, Twice, Three, Four, Damn it!" Duo said. "This thing must be busted. What compelled Heero to buy this thing for me. I'll never know."  
  
"Maybe he wanted to help keep you occupied. You always tell him how bored you get here." Quatre said.  
  
"by the by Quat." Duo said. "Are you doing any better? I mean are you okay?"  
  
"Much better Duo. Thank you." he said.  
  
"Because if you ever want to talk. I'm here." he said.  
  
"I know." he said. "Thanks Duo. You're the best room mate a guy could have."  
  
"We're more then roomates." he said. "Quatre you're my best friend."  
  
"and vice versa." Quatre said smiling. "Oh, It's 2. I have to go to my shrink."  
  
"Have fun!" Duo said. "I'm sure you will though. Dr. Kushrenada is one hot tamale!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"I heard you had some sad news yesterday." Treize said to his new patient.  
  
"Yes my ex-boyfriend killed himself." Quatre said. "He's always been a passionate guy I just didn't think he'd do anything like that."  
  
"Some times when people are sad they do things they wouldn't normally do." he said. "Were you sad when you started throwing up everything?"  
  
"Maybe, I don't know." Quatre said.  
  
Quatre then saw Dorothy standing over Treize's shoulder.  
  
"Can you believe this guy? You were just getting happy when your sister found out about you. You weren't sad. You were determined to get that weight off!" she said.  
  
" Had you and Zechs broken up yet?" he asked.  
  
"Yes it had been about a week. You broke up with me because he said I wasn't pretty enough and that I had put on too much weight." he said. "And that's when I started hearing her."  
  
"Her?" Treize asked.  
  
"I don't know what it is really. Some times I hear this voice in my head telling me to do these terrible things. It put the idea of throwing up into my head in the first place. It makes me think terrible things about people I love. I don't like hearing it. But some times I do what it tells me." Quatre said. "I don't know how to make it stop."  
  
"Every one has their own little personal demon Quatre. You're bad side." Treize said.  
  
"But sometimes it makes me feel like I'm going absolutely nuts!" he said.  
  
"It's quite normal but don't you worry I'm sure you're not turning into Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." he said. "You just have to learn to make that voice shut up."  
  
"You'll never make me shut up!" she yelled. Quatre jumped at the sound of her voice. It sounded evil.  
  
"Why'd you jsut flinch?" Treize asked Quatre.  
  
"Because she's yelling at me now." he said. 'She doesn't like you and she's angry about the things you said."  
  
"Well Quatre. I don't know what to tell you. You know this voice is just in your head. i'm sure if you want her to go away and if you close your eyes. When you open them . She'll just disapear." he said. He saw Quatre close his eyes and them opene them after a minute....  
  
DOROTHY WAS GONE..........  
  
"Oh thankyou Dr. Kushrenada!" Quatre said jumping up to hug the man. "You don't know how much it means to me to have her gone!"  
  
"Now. Some patients can easily rid themselves of their demons for short times but they have a hard time keeping them away. So we're going to try something with you that I do with a lot of my patients." Treize got up and picked up a small black book and a pen.  
  
"I want you to write in this atleast once a day. You can write whatever you want. If that voice comes back just write down what she's telling you to do instead of doing it."  
  
"Okay." Quatre said taking it...  
  
"But I want you to write anything you want in there. you can tell me what you wrote if you want to. But I can't force you." he said. "Now It's movie night tonight. It'll be a lot of fun I promise."  
  
"Doctor?" Quatre asked. "Would you let me go to Zechs' funeral?"  
  
"No Quatre. Your parents gave us permission to allow you to leave when we saw fit. And I don't think you're ready for something like that. His grave will be there forever and maybe a provate visitation when your stable would be best." he said.  
  
Quatre knodded and left Dr. Kushrenada's office. He then walked down the hall slowly to his room. Alone and free from Dorothy for the first time in his life.  
  
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Gypsy: PLEASE REVIEW! IT TAKES LOTS OF REVIEWS FOR MY MUSES TO WORK! 


	13. darkness is scary

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
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Gypsy: This is gonna be a little V-Day pressie for you all! It's the 13th of Febuary and I'm writing part 13 of this fic! *giggles* how funny! But it's only under extreme circumstances that you're even getting this because I've been really sick lately! I had to go to hpsital and everything. Please pity me now... *sad face* I hate needles and I gots lots in me so be nice and review! Because I love reviews so much! consider each review as some fuel to get me to write more because me needs fuel... So sleepy... *snore* MUST WRITE!  
  
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Over the next 4 or 5 days Quatre seemed to feel a little better. He wrote in his journal everyday. Most of the times it was even 2 oe 3 times a day. Visiting day was approaching again and he couldn't wait. It wasn't just because he missed his family. It was Catherine's brother he was really excited to see. It was raining gently outside. Zechs' funeral had been the day before but Quatre didn't spend much time thinking about it. Duo was draped over the chair in their room snacking on a box of whitmans and reading a trashy novel. And not just any trashy novel we're talking about your major X rated gay romance novel with elaborate details.  
  
Duo moaned and bit into a choclate the spit it out  
  
"Gross! Nut cluster!" he said dropping it in teh trash can.  
  
"Maybe if you actually looked at the diagram instead of reading which body part Tyrone was going to touch next-" Quatre said. When Duo slammed the book shut.  
  
"It's Antonio you freak!" he said. 'get it right before insulting my reading material."  
  
"Sorry Duo." Quatre said picking up his pen again and looking at what he wrote.  
  
"Whatcha doing anyway?" he asked. 'You've had your nose in that book for like 5 days."  
  
"It's the journal my doctor gave me. he thought it might help me." he said.  
  
"Dr. Treize's journal thing." Duo said. "I know about it. I've read the one he gave Iris."  
  
"She let you read it?" Quatre asked.  
  
'No. she left it on the couch when she went to piss one day." Duo said. "I jsut peaked a little."  
  
"I can't believe you'd do that!" he said. "It's her private thoughts."  
  
"yeah. She wishes she had ended up killing her parents like she wanted to. Real private Even I could tell she wanted em dead." he said. "Hey Quat. Why do you look so pissed?"  
  
"I can't believe you. " Quatre said standing up and screaming at the top of his lungs.  
  
Nurse Une and Sally came running in and looked at Quatre.  
  
"honey what's teh matter?" Sally asked.  
  
Quatre couldn't make out teh words so he just screamed again.  
  
"It wasn't me." Duo said holding up his hands.  
  
That's when Quatre jumped over Duo's bed and smacked Duo upside his watermelon head.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Gray walls." Quatre whispered. "Gray chair, Gray day."  
  
The tank. One of the many fine places to be locked away at the clinic. It's where all the patients go who can't control their emotions. Quatre sat their looking at the walls watching a tiny spider crawl up it. Quatre then flicked it off before squishing it with the toe of his sneaker.  
  
"Lucky son of a bitch." Quatre said before sighing and leaning back in his chair. It was geting a little cold in the small area.  
  
Suddenly a light came from the ceiling.  
  
"God?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Hardly." a voice said. It was Dr. Kushrenada.  
  
"Go away. I'm not in the mood." he said. "Can't you see I'm just fine reflecting on my actions by myself without you analyzing every move I make."  
  
"Why'd you attack your room mate? You were doing so well." he said.  
  
"Duo pissed me off." Quatre said. 'He's so inconsiderate some times."  
  
"You haven't even been here a month yet and you're already calling your room mate names?" he asked.  
  
Quatre sat in silence staring at the wall again.  
  
"Duo said it was about him confessing to reading another patient's journal. Is that why you hit him?" he said.  
  
"Yes, that's exactly why I did it! I can't trust him!" he yelled. "I hate people I can't trust."  
  
"Can you trust yourself?" Treize asked.  
  
"Maybe not." Quatre said. 'Maybe that's why I've been starving myself."  
  
"Keep thinking about that. I'll give you another hour in here before you can go to dinner." he said. "And please refrain to hitting Duo."  
  
"No problem." Quatre said sitting down again. The light went away and Quatre was alone again.  
  
It was very dismal in that little room. It was only lit by one small lightbulb. Quatre thought he heard a fizzle in the wall when suddenly the bulb went out and the room was cast into darkness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"take that!" Iris yelled moving her candy land peice to make it to the Lolli-pop princess on the board.  
  
"Take a hike Iris." Duo said pulling out his Queen Frosting card. "I'm still ahead of you."  
  
"Guys." Catherine said softly.  
  
'yeah?" Iris asked.  
  
"I have a funny feeling. That's something's wrong." she said. "Duo are you sure Quatre was okay?"  
  
"He jsut hit me because I said something stupid." he said. 'Nothing major."  
  
"Are you okay?" Iris asked Catherine after a minute or so. "Do you need me to go get Nurse Sally? She always helps you when you get all paranoid."  
  
"I'm not paranoid!" Catherine said. 'Something's wrong. Something's not right. I want to go home! I don't like it here!"  
  
"Calm down Cathy!" Iris said. "Duo, go get Sally."  
  
"Iris I'm scared!" she said sitting down next to her bestfriend. Iris held Catherine in her arms and rocked her until Sally came.  
  
"She just started acting funny." Iris told the nurse. "She's never been this scared so quickly."  
  
"Something's wrong." Catherine whispered over and over.  
  
Suddenly all the lights flickered out and pitched the whole clinic into darkness.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Nothing can get you." Quatre whispered almost in tears. it was cold, dark and he couldn't breathe.  
  
"It's okay Quatre!" he said to himself over and over. 'nothing can get you here. You're safe!"  
  
'Are you so sure?" an evil voice asked into Quatre's ear.  
  
A small match lit up and Quatre saw Dorothy's face.  
  
"I'm back." she whispered "and you can't get away."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In the bathroom of a room in the clinic you could hear the faucet dropping. In a tub full of water Meiren lay. It was dark but some of teh light filtered into the room. Meiren's chest was still. her eyes closed. The water sloshed up against her chin but she didn't move.  
  
You could even hear soft singing. The face of a demon with red hair and black eyes played with the cord of the hair dryer that she had just dropped in the tub.  
  
"You'll never escape me." she sang softly. "Night-Night Meiren."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
END 


	14. demon's revenge

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gypsy: Part 14! part 14! I got to part 14! I always write end at the end of my chapters. But don't worry I have many more parts to write to this story! *holds up her Trig notebook* See! I have it all planned out why I should have been listening about theta, beta, alpha, and what's the other term thingy? Oh well! I have this story planned out though! Very responsible if I say so my self. Remember to reveiw because with out reviews I don't put out! (chapters that is...)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The recreation room of the clinic was cast into darkness. Iris shreiked before clinging to Duo. She also heard Catherine choke out a little sob.  
  
"It'll be okay every body. We probably just blew a fuse." Nurse Sally said as some of the other nurses came in with flash lights.  
  
Duo saw that Sally was holding on to Catherine.  
  
Treize came into the room.  
  
"What happened?" Nurse Une asked running up to the doctor who had blood coming from his nose.  
  
"I tripped in the dark." he said. "It'll be okay." He looked around. "Is this every patient? It'll be best to keep them together."  
  
"We're missing about half of them." Sally said. "I'll stay here. You all go check their rooms and then bring them in here." Treize began to walk down a hallway. "Don't forget a flash light!"  
  
He smiled before picking one up and going down the first hallway. The other Nurse's took the other hallways.  
  
"Something's wrong." Catherine said sniffling. "I can feel it."  
  
"It's just a fuse Cathy." Iris said. "The dark can be scary but it can't hurt you."  
  
"yeah right!" a voice yelled into Iris's ear.  
  
She turned to her left to see Kitty... her demon.  
  
"Nurse Sally I have to go to the bathroom." she said. "Can I borrow a flash light?"  
  
"Sure sweety." Sally said stroking Catherine's hair.  
  
Iris walked into the bathroom pushing back her tears. She wasn't going to let her come back to ruin her life.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Quatre pounded on the door with his fists again.  
  
"Help me!" he yelled. 'Please somebody help me!"  
  
"They've forgotten you." Dorothy said running a hand through her hair. "There's no use yelling. They'll remember you in a couple days but you'll already be dead."  
  
"Dead?" Quatre asked.  
  
"You'll kill yourself." she said.  
  
"No." Quatre said. "I wouldn't ever do that."  
  
"okay," she said. "I'll kill you and make it look like you did it."  
  
"You're just my imagination. You're not real. You can't hurt me!" he yelled.  
  
" I'm real Quatre. You made me real. You thought me up, You made me exist." she said. "Just think. Had you not done that. Zechs may even be alive."  
  
"Stop that! Stop talking to me!" he yelled feeling the tears come to his eyes. He turned back to the door and started pounding on it again.  
  
"No one can hear you. The door's sound proof." she said.  
  
"Open up!" Quatre yelled. "Please can anybody hear me?"  
  
"They're too busy to even notice you're gone." she said.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked.  
  
"Well right now.. Catherine's having a panic attack and they're about to find Meiren."  
  
"Meiren? What do you mean find her?" Quatre asked. 'What did you do to her?"  
  
"I didn't do anything. It was all Michelle." she said.  
  
"Michelle?" Quatre asked. "There's no body here named Michelle."  
  
"Michelle's her demon. Don't you wonder why the power went out? Michelle killed Meiren!" Dorothy said as she started laughing.  
  
"Stop it!" Quatre yelled. "Meiren's not dead! A fuse just blew! or there was an over loaded circuit! No one killed Meiren. You're just making it up!"  
  
"Why would I lie to you?" Dorothy asked.  
  
'Because you're evil." Quatre said.  
  
"You're the one who made me live Quatre. Does that mean you're evil?" she asked. Quatre leaned up against one of teh walls and started crying.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nurse Une walked down one of the hallways in the girl's section of the dormitorys.  
  
"Meiren and Allison's room." she said opening up the door. She knew Allison was in the recreation room. But where was Meiren?  
  
She heard a facucet dripping in the bathroom.  
  
"Meiren?" she called out. "Honey are you in here?"  
  
She then opened up the bathroom door and saw her there.  
  
'Meiren." she said. "Sleeping in the bathtub? That's so dangerous."  
  
She walked over and shook Meiren.  
  
When her hand touched her shoulder she gasped.  
  
It was ice cold...  
  
Nurse Une saw the cord go into the tub and she peered in. The hairdryer was in the tub. Meiren wasn't breathing.  
  
She had been electracuted.....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A beep came over Nurse Sally's radio. She picked it up and spoke into it.  
  
'Hello?" she asked.  
  
"Sally call an ambulence and get Treize over to room 76. We've got a code blue."  
  
"What?" Sally asked. She ran to the office hoping the phone's would be working. She was greeted with a dial tone.  
  
She dialed 911.  
  
"Hello this Shady Ridges Clinic on 5th street. I need an ambulence. there's been an accident.(pause) No I don't know the details the powers out and I only heard about it over the radios. Please send some body." she then hung up and tried to reach Treize.  
  
"Treize" she yelled into her hand radio.  
  
'yes?" he answered.  
  
"Do you have any patients with you?" she asked.  
  
'Yes. I found 3 so far." he said.  
  
'Send them to the lobby. You've got to go to room 76. There's a code blue." she said.  
  
"I'm sending them now." he said.  
  
Sally looked up to see all the teenagers looking at her.  
  
"Doesn't code blue mean somebody's dead?" Iris asked.  
  
Sally couldn't answer them....  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Now there was enough light in the lobby for the nurse's to see.  
  
They began to count patients to see who was missing when the gurney came by. There was a sheet draped over the body.  
  
Iris's eye's couldn't stop looking at it.  
  
She heard the paramedic.  
  
"We have a 16 year old, asian female. There's nothing we could do for her." the paramedic said into his walkie talkie.  
  
"Meiren?" Wufei asked standing up. He had heard it too.  
  
"Oh my god." Duo said.  
  
Everybody was in a state of shock.  
  
'We're missing one." Nurse sally said.  
  
'Who?" Treize asked. 'We checked every where."  
  
"Nurse Sally?" Duo asked. 'Where's Quatre?"  
  
Treize turned white.  
  
"I left him in the tank." he said before running down the hallway to get the child out.  
  
"The tank?" Iris asked. "Dr. Kushrenada left him in the tank?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Quatre pounded on the door again.  
  
"Let me out!" he sobbed. "I want out."  
  
Dorothy stood up.  
  
'What do you know. Some one's coming." she said. "Finally."  
  
She then disapeared as the door opened.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
END (of this part) 


	15. terror and sedation

1 The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
  
  
Gypsy: Hey everybody! Happy spring break! You all should be thankful for this holiday because I basically have nothing to do! Except write a 90-page paper for a class, Sleep, hangs out with my pals, sunbathe and paint my toenails! Of course one of the first things on my list was to update this fic! I want to give you the low down fist. There are only going to be 20 chapters for this fic and then there will be a sequel. I have my ideas all planned out. The only thing I'm still working out is the title for the sequel. I mean the title for this fic was so perfect I might not be able to live up to it. Some one also asked me why I was writing this. One there isn't enough knowledge out about eating disorders. I was bulimic when I was in 6th grade and now I'm a size 16 and extremely happy. I'd rather be over weight and happy then skinny and miserable. I want to thank you all for reading my work and telling me how much you enjoyed it. It means more then you can even imagine. I love you all and I love hearing from each and every one of you all. Bee if you are reading this you haven't been answering my emails and I NEED to speak with you. You too Link! AND IRIS! Where are you girl? I miss you guys! I'm done ranting but I have one more question. Is this fic too dark? Because I have an alternate ending if it is getting too heavy.  
  
Quatre rolled on his other side. The sun was in his eyes. It had been two days since Meiren had died and Quatre had his experience in the tank. Now he just felt drained and couldn't even stand to get up. It was a visitor's day. Usually he would have been happy to see his parents but not today. He just didn't feel like seeing anyone. Suddenly Nurse Une came in.  
  
"Hi sweetie." She said carrying in a tray. "You're going to feel a little drained so I brought your tray in." After he went hysterical two days ago they had been feeding him through the IV in his hand. "Sit up." She said.  
  
Quatre struggled and after a little help from her he was successfully sitting up.  
  
She removed the tray cover. The smell of pancakes made Quatre sick to his stomach. Not like the clinic pancakes were bad or anything. They were great; the cafeteria staff always tried to make the food as yummy as possible to help feed the kids who were starving themselves.  
  
"Eat." Nurse Une said.  
  
"I can't." he said. "I just can't." Quatre felt the tears come to his eyes.  
  
"Why not?" she asked wiping the tears that slowly slid down Quatre's cheeks.  
  
"I can't bear to, I've gone past help, past hell. Life seems so pointless now." He said. "I wish I could but I can't bring my self to live a full life in such a dismal place."  
  
Nurse Une smiled and picked up the cup of orange juice. She put a straw in it and sat on the side of the bed cradling Quatre like a small child.  
  
"Please drink this for me." She said.  
  
Quatre took the cup and took a few sips. His stomach settled slightly.  
  
"You know that Dr. Kushrenada is sorry that he accidentally left you in the tank. It was really hectic here." She said.  
  
"Not his fault." He said. "It was her."  
  
"Who?" Nurse Une asked watching Quatre take a sip.  
  
"Don't you hear her?" he asked. " I do, all the time! She yells at me. She had them kill Meiren, she wants me dead. She's never quiet."  
  
"Who?" Nurse Une asked becoming slightly alarmed.  
  
"Dorothy. She's evil. She won't stop." He said having tears come to eyes.  
  
"Do you hear her now?" she asked.  
  
"Yes." He stammered. "She's behind you and she yelling at me."  
  
"I'm going to call Dr. Kushrenada." She said letting go of Quatre and grabbing her radio from Duo's bed. She stood at the door.  
  
"No one loves you. Go ahead die. Don't eat! You're not worthy! Stop it Quatre! You're ruining my plans to make the world a better place. The world would be a better place without you." Dorothy said in his ear. "They think your crazy. They'll lock you up and then you'll die. I'll kill you. They'll think you did it!"  
  
" STOP IT!" Quatre yelled kicking his legs and sending the tray against the wall "Stop it! Please stop! I Don't Want To!" He tried to hurl her against the wall like he did that tray. She grabbed him and forced him against the bed again. Quatre struggled in the demon's grip and screamed a scream that could be heard across the clinic.  
  
Nurse Une stood there help less. There that angelic child was screaming as if some one was trying to kill him. She began looking for her emergency shot kit. Treize and Sally came running in. Sally had the shot kit in her hands. Treize ran over to Quatre's bed and held him down.  
  
"Do it Sally!" he yelled.  
  
"Don't hurt me!" Quatre screamed. Sally took the needle and pushed it into Quatre's IV. "I won't! You can't make me!"  
  
After a minute or so of struggling. The screams turned into sobs and Quatre lay underneath Treize crying like a lost child. Which he was.  
  
"Dorothy stop." He cried. "Stop yelling me…"  
  
The sedative took ahold of the teenage and he drifted off into a light sleep.  
  
"What was that?" Treize asked getting off the bed.  
  
"You're bleeding." Sally said taking Treize's arm and bandaging the scratches on Treize's arms.  
  
"He must have scratched me with his fingernails." Treize said.  
  
"But he has no fingernails." Une said and then she lifted the sleeves on Quatre's pajamas. Identical claw marks were all over his arms.  
  
There were others too. One his legs, torso and on the back of his neck.  
  
"Is he hurting himself?" Treize asked.  
  
"If he was how would give you identical marks?" Sally asked.  
  
"He was talking about hearing voice." Une said. "Do you think he could suffer from DID or schizophrenia?"  
  
"Maybe I don't know right now. He was doing so well." Treize said. "Hearing voices? Why didn't he tell me he was hearing voices."  
  
"Maybe an underlying metal illness were causing him to starve himself." Sally said.  
  
"We won't know until we talk to him." Treize said. "Let's clean up the mess and then let him sleep."  
  
Duo was looking down at his roommate. Iris stood at the doorway.  
  
"How is he?" She asked coming in slowly.  
  
"Nurse Une said he's heavily sedated and he probably won't wake up until tonight." He said.  
  
"Poor Quatre." She said. "What's wrong with him?"  
  
"I was listening outside the door. They said he's been hearing voices." He said.  
  
"you're kidding. Quatre's hearing voice? That's not possible." She said.  
  
"Quatre's just like me." Iris and Duo thought at the same time.  
  
"Heero coming today?" Iris asked.  
  
"yeah." He said. "Do you think Quatre would mind if I borrowed something from his closet?"  
  
"no." she said. Duo went into the bathroom and iris heard the shower going.  
  
"You'll beat this Quatre." Iris said. "You've got to. I'm not strong enough to. I need you to win and maybe then I'll have a chance. Meiren seemed so strong but she couldn't beat her inner demon but you can Quatre. You've got to Quatre. For your own sake and my own."  
  
There was a knock at the door. Iris turned to see Cathy's brother Trowa at the door.  
  
"Hi Trowa." She said.  
  
"I came to see Quatre and give him this." He said holding a small wrapped box.  
  
"he's sick." She said turning back to Quatre. Trowa came to the bed.  
  
"He looks so small." He said.  
  
"I know." She answered. "Well I'm going to go see if my mom and dad left any messages for me." She then left the room. She knew there were no messages. Her parents didn't care that much.  
  
Trowa leaned over the bed and set the present on the side table. It was an angel snow globe. Quatre was so beautiful and sad looking. And now he looked so small and frail.  
  
"If you can hear me Quatre You have to get better. So I have the chance to fall in love with you." He said as he kissed Quatre's pale hand gently.  
  
END!  
  
Gypsy: Yea!!! Go Gypsy! 


	16. lighter

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
Gypsy: happy Friday people! Spring break ends this Sunday! Wah! I've done absolutely nothing! I've been sick, went shopping, saw a bunch of movies, and did a lot of schoolwork. I think I'm done ranting and raving now. I'm trying to make this fic a little lighter because it's just a little too dark I think. I don't want you guys to read it and go over dose on Prozac because of me…. Oh well. PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
  
  
Quatre rolled over the next morning. When Quatre opened his eyes he saw Duo fast asleep in his bed. For some reason his heart didn't feel so heavy. I mean he still felt weak and depressed but not as much as he had felt yesterday. He struggled to sit up and after 5 minutes of sweating he did. Quatre looked around. The room was as clean as could be everything had been put away. Quatre saw something he hadn't before. A small box wrapped in pretty light blue paper with a ribbon on it. Quatre reached over and picked it up. It was surprisingly heavy for a little box. He looked at the tag and he tried to focus his eyes enough to read to delicate print.  
  
"To: Quatre, From: Trowa." He whispered.  
  
"Trowa?" he thought. "Catherine's brother?" Quatre's face lit up in a smile. Trowa, the gorgeous Trowa had given him a gift. He ripped the paper off and opened the box. He gasped.  
  
It was a beautiful snow globe with a large angel in it. She was holding what seemed to be the earth in her hands and little angels were on clouds surrounding her. It was beautiful. The base looked like a giant cloud.  
  
"How beautiful." He whispered. He turned it over to see if it had a key where it could play music. Quatre turned the knob. The song is played was Ave Maria. It was as beautiful to hear as it was to see.  
  
"You're awake." A voice said. Quatre jumped but held on to the snow globe thankfully. It was Duo. His hair was un braided and all rumpled. Duo sat up and swung his legs over the bed. He checked the bag hanging on the IV rack by Quatre's bed. "You're not done yet." He stated before walking to his dresser and getting his hairbrush.  
  
"What happened?" Quatre asked.  
  
"You don't remember?" Duo asked. "Meiren died and you were locked in the tank."  
  
"Oh I remember that." Quatre said shuddering. He could smell the steel walls and the cold creeping up his neck and he could see the evil look on Dorothy's face.  
  
"Then you were hysterical so they sedated you when you came to the next day you were even worse. Dr. Treize had to hold you done so Sally could sedate you." Duo said. "You seemed terrified."  
  
"I don't remember that." He said. "When did Trowa come?"  
  
"Yesterday afternoon. You were sleeping so he just left you the present he got you." He said looking at the snow globe in Quatre's hands. "It's pretty."  
  
"Beautiful." Quatre said.  
  
"Maybe you'll be allowed to get out of bed today." Duo said running the brush through his thick chestnut hair.  
  
"Maybe." Quatre said. "How's Iris and Catherine and everybody else?"  
  
"Wufei got sent home yesterday." Duo said happily. "He said he'd come back to visit but he was so happy when Treize told him that he could go home with his grandparents."  
  
"I'm happy for him." Quatre said.  
  
"Iris came by and saw you." He said. "Catherine's okay I guess. She's not that happy here."  
  
"When do they think she'll get to go home?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Probably not for another year." Duo said.  
  
"A year?" Quatre asked. "That long?"  
  
"Catherine's been here for 4 years already what's one more to her?" he asked. "She can barely survive here, let alone in the real world."  
  
Nurse Une came in through the door.  
  
'Quatre!" she said happily. "You're awake."  
  
"Yes ma'am." he said.  
  
'Duo it's time for breakfast." She said. Duo smiled and through on his robe.  
  
"Can I go like this?" he asked.  
  
"Put on some slippers." She said.  
  
Duo grabbed his snoopy slippers and ran out the door braiding his hair as he went.  
  
"I'm sorry about the past 2 days." Quatre said.  
  
"It's not your fault. You went through a traumatic experience." She said walking towards Quatre's bed. "Dr. Kushrenada is going to come talk to you later today."  
  
"Okay." Quatre said flipping the snow globe upside down and shaking it before turning it over. There was no snow in it. There was glitter in it that fell on the angels.  
  
"That's very pretty. Did Catherine's brother bring it for you?" she asked.  
  
"Yes." Quatre said not taking his eyes off the angels.  
  
"Can you set it down while I talk to you?" She asked. Quatre nodded and handed it to her and she set it on the dresser. "Quatre why are their scratches all over your body?"  
  
Quatre looked down and raised his pajamas sleeve. He could see the scratches were slowly healing. They still hurt.  
  
"She does it when I don't listen." He said. "I try to make her stop but that only makes her more angry."  
  
"Dorothy?" Une asked.  
  
"Yes." He said looking at his hands.  
  
"Quatre you're going to have to start psychiatric counseling on a daily basis until you are permitted to leave the clinic." She said.  
  
He nodded.  
  
"Are you hungry?" she asked.  
  
"Can I eat with everyone else?" he asked.  
  
"I don't see why not." She said smiling and putting the stopped in the IV tubing before unhooking him from it. "You'll have to finish this bag when you come back."  
  
"Ok." He said pushing the covers back.  
  
Nurse Une set a tray in front of the empty seat by Iris.  
  
"Quatre's coming to breakfast." She said.  
  
"Good for him." Catherine said. Quatre entered the cafeteria and slowly walked to the table where his friends were sitting. He sat slowly.  
  
"We've missed you." Iris said patting Quatre's arm.  
  
"Thankyou." Quatre said picking up his fork.  
  
"Will you be okay?" Nurse Une asked Quatre.  
  
"Yes ma'am." He said. "I'll get a hold of you if I need help."  
  
"Your sister came to see you yesterday." Iris said. "I met her, she's nice."  
  
"Iria?" he asked. "The tall one with blonde hair?"  
  
"Yup." Catherine said. "Trowa and I talked to her as well. Trowa wants to be a surgeon too."  
  
"Really? Trowa?" Duo asked. "I'd give anything to have your hot brother's hands operating magic on me."  
  
"What about Heero?" Iris asked.  
  
"He works magic on me with out cutting me open." He said. "And besides Trowa likes Quatre."  
  
"He came to see you too." Iris said to Quatre taking a huge swig of her orange juice.  
  
"I know." Quatre said. "He left me a present."  
  
"It's this gorgeous snow globe with angels in it." Duo said. "Really nice."  
  
"I'm glad he likes you." Catherine said softly. "Do you like him?"  
  
"Maybe, I haven't really talked to him." Quatre said eating the last bite of toast on his plate.  
  
'Quatre I know you hate jam, can I have yours?" Duo asked. Quatre nodded and slid his packet of strawberry jam to Duo.  
  
Quatre looked around. The room seemed lighter just like his heart.  
  
"Maybe today will be better as a whole." He thought smiling and drinking his orange juice.  
  
"Some one's in love." Iris thought affectionately.  
  
End of chapter 16 


	17. the truth

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
Gypsy: Sorry it's been so long guys! I've been trying to graduate but I do get to this Friday! Woo hoo! This fic has been number one the whole time and I've been struggling on how to write it. I love it so much and I have so many ideas but I can't seem to write em the way I think em up! Oh well! This is what Chapter 17? That means there's only 3 more left after this one... Be patient. I'm working as fast as I can!  
  
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One week had passed. It was certainly a less stressful one. Quatre had gone to therapy on a daily basis and Dr. Kushrenada had started him on a new medication. It seemed to work pretty well. Dorothy showed up less often and Quatre had gained 3 pounds. It was Saturday morning. Quatre woke up early and ran to the shower. He wanted to look really nice. He'd gotten a letter from Trowa saying he was coming to visit him. He couldn't wait but before Trowa he had to go to therapy. Quatre stepped into the steamy water and began to pick up the soap when he noticed something. There was a sudden chill in the air and he couldn't help but be a little nervous. There was a flash of light and a blinding pain. Quatre looked down to see a newly made scratch in his arm. Blood mixed with the water and went down the drain. Quatre hissed and looked around. He didn't see Dorothy. Then he noticed that was blood underneath his fingernails on his right hand. His left hand was bleeding not the right one. He looked up and saw his reflection in the shower head. The pale skin, the peircing blue eyes........ Quatre took a step back and slipped falling down. He was Dorothy...... There was no other possibility. Quatre shook his head and stood up. It wasn't so cold. He picked up the shampoo and washed his hair in a hurry, he had to talk to Treize but not with a greasy head of hair.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As soon as he finished his breakfast he ran to the Doctor's office. His mind was full of questions and voices. Ones he knew, some he didn't. Confusing screams and muffled murmurs. He knocked and pushed the doctor's door open. He gasped when he saw Dr. treize pressing Nurse Une against the desk.  
  
"Quatre!" Treize yelled dropping Nurse Une so she hit the desk with a thump.  
  
"I'm sorry." he said quickly. "I'll go."  
  
"No wait." Une said picking up her nurse's cap and walking toward Quatre. "You don't look so well."  
  
"I need to talk." he said.  
  
"Of course." she said. "Treize I'll see you at lunch."  
  
"Will do Lady." he said. Nurse Une rushed out the door and closed it while a blish formed up in her cheeks.  
  
"Lady?" Quatre asked.  
  
"We all have first names Quatre." Treize said.  
  
"Her parents named her Lady?" he asked.  
  
'Well, Why did yours name you a number?" he asked.  
  
"I'm the fourth child." he said.  
  
"Sit down." Treize said. Quatre sat in the comfortable arm chair. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I'm hearing voices." he said.  
  
"Voices?" Treize asked. "What kind?"  
  
'All kinds. Men and women, children and adults, screams and whispers. I can't think straight!" he said.  
  
"Calm down. When did this start?" Treize asked.  
  
Quatre ignored Treize's question and continued.  
  
"I got a new scratch this morning and I was awake when I did it." he said.  
  
"Awake?" treize asked. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, I was in the shower there was this bright light and I was bleeding. The main thing was that there was blood under the fingernails on my other hand." he said. "I think I did it."  
  
"You do?" he asked.  
  
'I saw Dorothy in my reflection!" Quatre blurted out.  
  
Treize stared and took a deep breath.  
  
"I think we have to come to terms with your condition Quatre." he said.  
  
"Condition? You mean you know what's wrong?" he asked.  
  
Treize sat in the arm chair next to Quatre.  
  
"I think you suffer from Dissociative Idenity Disorder." he said.  
  
'What's that?" Quatre asked.  
  
"It's a psychological disorder previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder." he said.  
  
Quatre stared into the wall thinking.  
  
"There's medication and theraputic treatment and you can be cured." Treize said.  
  
"Then let's do this." Quatre said. "I want to be normal. Make me a normal person."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Trowa sat in a chair in the rec room. Catherine was sitting in the floor with Iris painting each other nails. Duo and Heero were sitting on the couch straing at each other.  
  
"I think I'm gonna barf." he thought.  
  
Suddenly Quatre came into the rec room.  
  
Trowa stood up and Quatre walked over to him.  
  
'Can we go some where private and talk?" he asked quietly.  
  
'Sure." Trowa said as Quatre lead him into the courtyard.  
  
They sat on a bench and Quatre sighed.  
  
'I wish there were more places here where we could go outside here." Quatre said. 'I like fresh air."  
  
'Me too." Trowa said. He pulled a box of chocolates from behind his back. "I bought you these."  
  
"Thanks." Quatre said. "I'm starved do you mind if I have some now?"  
  
"No not at all." he said.  
  
Quatre opened up the box of Russel Stovers and lifted the lid.  
  
'What to have?" he asked before opping one in his mouth. "Want one?"  
  
Trowa stood one and smiled.  
  
"Did you get the snow globe?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, thankyou. I think it's the most beautiful present I ever have received besides these chocolates." he said.  
  
Trowa laughed lightly and the breeze blew a hair into Quatre's face. Trowa pushed it behind his delicate ear. Quatre then leaned foward captured trowa mouth with his own. After a few minutes of bliss Trowa and Quatre pulled away gently.  
  
"Wow." Trowa said.  
  
"That was definately the best thing I've ever gotten." Quatre said.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
End of Chapter 17  
  
Gypsy: I DID IT! 


	18. the start of the end

The Meaning of Beautiful  
  
By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gypsy: Chapter 18! Woo hoo! I'm sorry if you all begin to hate me because of this chapter but what's in it had to be done! I'm really sorry... By the way: Iris where are you?? I've been emailing you and I want to take this time to thank a few people. Akurei Difficile- my best pal and future college room mate, Bee- My british muse from across the atlantic, Link, Iris, My soul sister- Fu-Funk, and to PEGS! Pegs wants my stuff for her web site! Woo hoo! and Jasie-poo... Hope I didn't leave anyone out.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
One month had passed. One month of constant therapy, taking 5 pills a day, laughing with Iris, Catherine and Duo, and Saturday morning strolls with Trowa. Quatre hadn't felt this great in a while. It was Saturday again and Quatre put on his grey cashmere sweater. He'd just gotten it from Iris for his birthday. Quatre had now gained a total of 11 pounds and was on the fast road to recovery although 6 months to a year didn't sound that fast to him. Duo came out of the bathroom with his wet hair streaming down the back of his black robe.  
  
'Will you do my hair for me?" he asked Quatre. He nodded and sat on the bed behind Duo taking the hair brush and running it through Duo's hair before braiding it quickly. "You're so fast at that."  
  
"It comes from having sisters." Quatre said.  
  
"you look nice." Duo said.  
  
"Thanks." he said.  
  
"Are you going to tell Trowa today?" Duo asked.  
  
"I think I have to. Shouldn't your boyfriend know you're a nut case?" the blonde teenager asked moving to sit on his own bed.  
  
"you're not a nut case. You have a couple of issues everyone does." he said.  
  
"Yeah but a few issues for every one of my other personalities?" he asked.  
  
"Quatre..." Duo said pulling a black buttonup shirt out of his closet. "Quit putting yourself down. You can't help it if you have a medical condition."  
  
'Still, I can't help but be nervous. If I tell Trowa he could drop me faster then a one legged prostitute with an overdose on Prozac." Quatre said.  
  
Duo burst out laughing...  
  
'QUATRE!" he yelled while still laughing. "I never would have expected like something like that to come out of your mouth!"  
  
Quatre looked at Duo and smiled but he couldn't help but not be self- concious about this one.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
'Why are you so quiet?" Trowa asked pulling Quatre closer as they walked through the garden together.  
  
"Thinking." Quatre said not looking at Trowa.  
  
"Hopefully about me." he said kissing the top of Quatre's head affectionatly. Quatre just sighed as they continued their walk. Trowa stopped walking. Quatre walked a few feet ahead and then turned around.  
  
"Why are you just standing there silly?" Quatre asked.  
  
"What's wrong?" Trowa asked. 'I know something's bothering you."  
  
"Well, yeah." he said looking down at the floor.  
  
Trowa stared. He was really scared. Was Quatre starving himself again? Was he thinking about dumping him? He couldn't live with out him.  
  
"Tell me." he said.  
  
Quatre walked up to Trowa and grabbed his wrist he then led him to a bench in the far corner.  
  
"Angel, you're scaring me." Trowa said.  
  
"Trowa.." Quatre said not looking in Trowa's eyes. "I'm sick."  
  
"Sick?" Trowa asked. "You wouldn't be here if you weren't."  
  
"No, I mean... I'm really sick. I've been seeing Dr. Kushrenada on a daily basis. Don't you wonder why I take all those pills? Don't you even think that you're dating a mental case?" he said tearing up.  
  
"I'm not dating a nut case." he said.  
  
"Well....." Quatre said pulling at his sweater.  
  
"Quatre." Trowa said firmly. 'Tell me, what's wrong?"  
  
"I suffer from this disorder called DID." he said.  
  
"Wait..." Trowa said standing up. "We studied this in school, it's the new term for Multiple Personality."  
  
Quatre looked at Trowa and nodded slowly.  
  
"You thought I would dump you for that?" he asked. Again Quatre nodded. Trowa sat down on the bench and grabbed Quatre by the cheeks and kissed him passionately.  
  
'What was that for?" Quatre asked.  
  
"For being brave and being the most wonderful person well... I guess you could say people I've ever met." Trowa said.  
  
"You're not dumping me?" he asked.  
  
"I'd rather get my teeth drilled without novocaine." he said.  
  
"I can probably arrange that..." Quatre said before leaning in for a kiss..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A while later Trowa and Quatre came into the clinic holding hands. Quatre and trowa stopped when they saw Duo. He had his coat on and had suitcases standing beside him. Iris was crying before she pounced on the braided teen for a hug.  
  
"Duo?" Quatre asked.  
  
Duo turned and stared at his room mate. His amethyst eyes swimming with unshed tears. Heero was standing beside Catherine holding another one of Duo's bags.  
  
"Hi Quat." he said.  
  
"Where are you going?" he asked.  
  
"Home. I gained the weight back and the staff said I can go home." he said.  
  
Quatre hugged him in teh same fashion as Iris, crying the whole time.  
  
'What am I gonna do without you?" he asked.  
  
" Sleep a whole lot better without me waking you up in the middle of the night." he said blowing his nose.  
  
"We're all gonna miss you Duo." Iris said pushing her bangs out from in front of her eyes.  
  
"I'll come visit you. I promise." Duo said.  
  
"They always say that." Iris said before running out of the rec room. Catherine looked at her older brother and shrugged before following her best friend.  
  
"I hope she understands I will visit." Duo said. Heero put his free arm around his boyfriend's shoulder. "I will!"  
  
"We know. She just needs some time." Trowa said. "I know Iris. She bounces back. " Trowa said.  
  
"I swear the girl's ass is made of rubber." Duo said stepping out of Heero's embrace to hug Quatre. "You've got to get better, pal."  
  
"I will." he said.  
  
Heero shook Trowa's hand and smiled.  
  
"As soon as you break out your jail bird boyfriend we'll go on a double date." he said.  
  
'Will do." Trowa said.  
  
"I'll miss you." Duo said.  
  
"Me too." Quatre said hugging Duo again.  
  
"Duo, we've got to get home." Heero said. picking up another one of his bags.  
  
"Okay." Duo said picking up his other bag and throwing his duffel bag over his head to rest on his other shoulder. Duo and Heero began to walk toward the door. Duo turned around one last time.  
  
"Bye kiddo." Duo said and then he left.  
  
Trowa pulled Quatre closer to him and hugged him.  
  
"I love you." he said.  
  
"I love you too." Quatre said leaning against Trowa with the tears running down his cheeks.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
end of chapter 18 


	19. leaving

The Meaning of Beautiful By: Gypsy Tollamer  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gypsy: I know It's been a while huh? Well, I finally got around to finishing this chapter and believe me. It took a lot of time and effort. I go to college next month so I'm sure updates will be slow but this fic has only one more chapter to go. And then I start the sequel if you want it. Well send all comments and questions to q_bean12@hotmail.com. LOVE YA! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ONE YEAR LATER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"But Quatre! I don't want you to go!" Matthew Collins said sitting on his bed. "You're the best room mate ever." Quatre looked over fondly at Matt. He was barely sixteen and would have been consider very beautiful except for the fact he only weighed 75 pounds. "I have to go." he said. 'Matt you've been here almost 6 months and I've been here almost a year longer then that. It's time I went home." "What will I do without you?" Matt asked his grey eyes swelling up with tears. "You'll survive, Just take it one day at a time." he said picking up a pair of jeans and folding them. "I'll miss you." he said. "Yeah?" Quatre asked. "You know I even think I'll miss this place." "Even the tank?" Matt asked. "Well, maybe not the tank." he said laughing as he pullled Matt into a close hug. "Want some help packing?" he asked whiping the tears off his cheeks. "Sure," Quatre said. "Put those books into the box on teh bed. Quatre went back to the closet and pulled out the last ten items hanging on his side. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. It was Iris, Cathy and Trowa. 'So you're finally getting out." Iris said laughing as she and Quatre hugged. "I'm so happy for you." "You know what?" Quatre asked. "I'm happy for me too." "You should be. Now you can glue your self to my older brother." Cathy said. "You're right!" Quatre cried happily. "Where's teh crazy glue?" "But those are your favorite jeans." Trowa pointed out. "We'll do it tomorrow then." Quartre said. Iris was taking Quatre clothes and folding them neatly in his suitcase. "You don't have to do that Iris." he said. "I want to." she said quietly. "Yeah the sooner you finish the sooner we can head to the Ice cream parlor." Trowa said. The siblings looked at eachother and entered the room picking up Quatre's knick knacks and photos along the way. Trowa handed Quatre the photos as he passed him. Quatre looked at one. It was one of Heero and Duo at Disney world. They had sent the photo along with a couple pairs of mouse ears while they were on vacation. "Meiren." he said softly looking at the next one. Wufei had stopped by to say hello one day and while they were talking Quatre had asked Wufei if he ahd any pictures of Meiren. He had several in his wallet and gave a small black and white one to him. Quatre had made a frame out of cardboard and red beads and kept the photo on the shelf as a reminder of those who ahd lost the battle he seemed to be winning. "Look at this one." Matt said pointing to the one of Dr. Kushrenada and Nurse Une.... I mean Nurse Kushrenada on their wedding day. They had the ceremony in the clinic chapel and then the reception in the garden. All patients had been invited and it was one of the most wonderful days Quatre could remember. "That cake was the best." Cathy said. "I can still taste it." "You should." Trowa laughed. "You ate 3 peices." Quatre smiled and put all the photos into the box with books wrapping them in his sweaters to keep them from breaking. Quatre then picked up his bathroom bag which was a little basket full of his toothbrush, shampoo and other things. He set it in the box. "I think we're almost done." Iris said. Trowa picked up the snow globe he gave to Quatre a year ago and handed it to the blonde. "Almost." he said. Quatre took the globe in his hands and cradled it gently. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They came out of the room looking happy and yet sad. Nurse Sally was in the lobby desk looking over some files. 'Ready to go?" she asked. "yeah." Quatre said. The blonde nurse hugged him and kissed his cheek. "You'll be alright." she said. Quatre knodded and Iris and Cathy grabbed him in a huge hug. "You'll come visit right?" Iris asked. "You bet." he said. Matt came in and hugged Quatre quickly before running out of the lobby in tears. "I'll go check on him." Sally said leaving. "You two better go." Cathy said smiling. Trowa and Quatre walked to the door. Trowa carrying the box and the suitcase. Quatre just having his arm hoked around Trowa's arm and the other holding the snow globe. "Are you okay?" Trow said before the exited. "Yeah. I'm ready for this." he said and Quatre stepped out into the real world and out of his sanctuary. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
ONE MORE TO GO! 


	20. the meaning of beautiful

The Meaning of Beautiful By: Gypsy Tollamer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gypsy: Here it is! Part 20! The very last installment of my fic.... *sob* are you all as sad as I am? because if you are please leave a review asking for the sequel. because if you all don't want it then i won't write it. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! Love you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Part 20- 10 years later ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The camera zoomed across the clapping crowd. The talk show was a brand new hit for the tv station and the crowd clapped and whooped it up for the woman standing on stage. She was tall, and slightly over weight but in a sexy way. She stood there a smile on her painted lips and a some cue cards in her hands. "Hello!" she said smiling. "Welcome to the Marilyn Hurley show! On todays show we're going to be discussing a major problems affecting the next generation. Such problems as drug and alchohol abuse are running rampant among teens but some other less obvious problems are hurting them as well.... First we'll be discussing the problems of depression with praised psychologist Dr. Jane Pitts and then we'll talk one on one with award winning author Quatre Winner After the break." She smiled and the show changed into a commercial. "I can't believe you're going to be on tv. Let alone on the Marilyn Hurley show." Iris said picking a beer out of the cooler and cracking it open. "me neither." Duo said. "Who knew being screwed up when you were young could be so great for your career?" Quatre smiled and laughed. "I hardly think suffering from bulimia is a great career move." he said. Trowa wrapped an arm around the blonde. "I agree." he said. "Duo I doubt it helped you any." "Hey, it doesn't take much to be a mechanic." he joked. "I'm just happy that Heero's getting paid well." "NASA always pays well doofus." Iris said. "Too bad he had to go to Houston." "He should be grateful Quatre and Trowa can afford a VCR to tape it for him." Duo smiled. No one really paid attention when the psychiatrist came on the show. They already new about depression and eating disorders. They just joked and remembered. "How's work Iris?" Trowa asked. "I teach 2nd grade, it's not that exciting." she said. "But it must be great to help all those little kids." Quatre said wistfully. He loved children. "It has it's perks." Iris said raking her hands through her now shoulder lenght hair. "Hey look! You're coming up next!" Trowa said turning the television up. "Alright!" Duo yelled turning around to lean against the couch. "Were you nervous?" Iris asked. "Of course." Quatre said. "Shut up!" Trowa yelled when the program came back from break. The four went silent and watched. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Welcome back!" Marilyn said to the camera's. 'Sitting next to me is one of the most proclaimed authors of our times. At 26, he's been on the best sellers top 20 list, three times. His first book, "The Meaning of Beautiful" has sold 58 million copies and has been translated into 3 different languages. A survivor of bulimia, Quatre Winner has beaten the odds and come up on top. Welcome to show, Quatre." "Thanks for having me." Quatre said. "It's been said that your book has saved a lot of kids by showing them the truth." she said. "I don't know about that but I tried to tell it like it was." he said. "I read the book and found myself both crying and laughing at the same time. It was wonderful." Marilyn said kindly. "I think at some times we did cry and laugh at the same time. When you're sick your emotions are on the surface at all times and you wear your heart on your sleeve. It's not always a good thing to be in touch with your emotions." he said pushing a peice of hair behind his ear. "What's teh main message behind your novel?" she asked. "That like truth, the meaning of beautiful is in the eye of the beholder. That many people think many different things at the same time and they are all right, In most instances. We grow up in a society where it's obsessed with vanity and sexuality and most people relate being thin to being sexy. It's not always true. Beauty is being able to be yourself while living a safe life style. Beauty is being healthy in both mind and body. The meaning of beautiful can mean the same things to hundreds of people but can be changed by one. One person can make you think that you're not beautiful just like one person can make you believe that you're the most gorgeous person to ever walk the planet. I think my story's important for everyone. Because if everyone is careful of what they say and if everyone speaks nothing but beautiful words then we change society. To make the world obsessed with being kind instead of being thin. The meaning of beautiful is indescribable. There is no meaning set in stone. BEAUTY IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
THE END......  
  
And remember; beauty IS what you make it out to be! 


End file.
